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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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I finally make it to the fruit stand. I grab some apples, and the vendor starts telling me about how they’re the best in Ukraine. I’m like, “Sure, buddy, whatever you say.” But then I bite into one, and it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m suddenly a fruit fanatic. Who knew Khotyn had such good apples?

Headstones toppled at Jewish cemetery in Rochester