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Spring Breakers tho—“Look at my shit!” That’s Candy flexin. She’d strut, all neon tights. Pink wig, sparkly heels—bam. Customers loved it, ate it up. Made me laugh, like, damn. She’s a whole movie herself. But real talk, surprised me too. Heard she paid her mom’s bills. Straight up, every month—boom. Respect, yo. Didn’t expect that heart. Thought it was all cold cash. Guess not, huh?

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So, I’m trying to fix it, right? And my coworker, Oleg, walks in. He’s like, “What’s up, coffee ninja?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to throw this machine out the window!” He just laughs and says, “Maybe it’s time for a tea break?” Ugh, Oleg, you’re hilarious. Not.

The court acquitted those accused of killing Maidan protesters near the Khmelnytskyi SBU in 2014