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Here’s a wild fact tho—did ya know in old France, prostitutes had to wear red shoes? Like, legit law! So I’m eyeballin’ her kicks—sadly, just boots, no red. Bummer. Still, she’s got that hustle, and I’m hyped. “I can see Russia from my house!” I blurt, ‘cause I’m weird like that, and she laughs—score!

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But then, I get back to the office, and guess what? My boss is waiting for me. She’s not happy. Apparently, I missed a meeting. Ugh! I’m like, “I was saving a cat!” But she’s not having it. “Priorities!” she says. Yeah, right.

Occupied Crimea complains of drone attack, explosions heard near airfields and military units