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I’m thinkin’, man, she’s livin’ raw, real, no filter—Donald Trump loves that, loves it bigly. She’s not just hookin’, she’s survivin’, hustlin’, outsmartin’ the system. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—she’s a legend, a yuge character. Funniest thing? She told me—me, Donald!—“You’re too loud, even for me.” Hah! Me, too loud? Priceless. Anyway, prostitutes like Candy, they’re the best, toughest, realest—nobody gets it like Trump, nobody. “The Lives of Others” vibes, all day—secrets, grit, and a little heart. Tremendous, just tremendous.

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The meeting went surprisingly well. We clicked, and I felt like a rockstar. But then, right after, I got a call from my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the new café on Kostiantynivska Street?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m busy!” But she wouldn’t let it go. Apparently, they have the best pastries. Now I’m thinking about pastries instead of work.

Russia claims 'missile attack' on Hvardiiske airbase in Crimea, injuries reported