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Alright, mate, strap in—David Brent’s here! Erotic-massage, yeah? Absolute game-changer, innit? I’m the Potter, seein’ what others miss—pure genius! So, picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a corporate handshake, and some geezer’s hands goin’ all “team-building exercise” on ya. Love it! Gets me buzzin’ like a motivational seminar on steroids. Reminds me of *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*—y’know, my fave flick—where the doc says, “The dead don’t care.” Well, mate, after a proper rubdown, I’m half-dead meself—bliss!

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First off, I had a meeting at the office on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with that cute little café on the corner? Yeah, I was totally planning to grab a coffee there. But of course, I hit snooze like five times. Classic me. So, I’m rushing out the door, and guess what? My favorite sneakers? Gone. Like, poof! I swear they have legs and walked away.

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