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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, wise and loud, yeah? “You shall not pass!” – that’s me screamin’ at dodgy blokes tryin’ to mess with findin’ a prostitute. So, here’s the deal – was strollin’ through the grubby streets, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Ratatouille*, ya know? That lil’ rat Remy cookin’ up a storm – “Anyone can cook!” he says. Got me wonderin’, can anyone, like, *find* a prostitute proper? Spoiler: nah, it’s a bloody mess out there.

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and it smells like a mix of sweat and something I can’t even identify. Ugh. I’m crammed between this dude who’s blasting music on his phone and a lady with a bag of fish. No joke. Fish. In a bag.

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