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My precious! *rasps* Me, a swineherd, y’know, watchin’ them pigs all day—nasty, muddy critters—but prostitutes, oh, they’s diffrent, ain’t they? *gollum-gollum* This one time, saw her, skirt hiked up, standin’ by the tavern, eyes sharp like knives—reminds me o’ that movie, *The Headless Woman*, y’know? “What did I do?” she’d whisper, like Lucrecia in the flick, all lost and haunted. Tricksy lass, she was—made me mad, tho! Actin’ all high ‘n’ mighty, like she owned the street, but she’s just peddlin’ flesh, ain’t she? *hisses* My precious coin—almost tossed it her way, but nah, kept it tight.

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But man, the market was a whole circus. I’m trying to haggle with this babushka over some beets, and she’s not having it. “Five hryvnias!” she yells. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I’m a broke dude!” But she just glares at me. I swear, her stare could melt steel.

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