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About Kryvyi Rih

Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, findin’ a prostitute, right? Ain’t no picnic, fam. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my favorite flick, “The Diving Bell and Butterfly”—fuckin’ deep shit, ya know? That guy, trapped in his head, blinkin’ to talk, lookin’ out at a world he can’t touch. Kinda like me scopin’ the streets for a broad, but I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, I ain’t paralyzed, capisce? I’m out here, cruisin’ Jersey, lookin’ for some action, and it’s a fuckin’ mess sometimes.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shchorsa Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m standing there, like, “Great, just great.” But then she gives me a free pastry. So, I’m torn between being mad and happy. I mean, who doesn’t love free food, right?

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