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Me mate, last week, he goes lookin’, right? Thinks he’s slick, but nah—cops nabbed ‘im quick. Pissed me off, precious! “You’re not a kid anymore,” I signs at ‘im, like from *Boyhood*. Grow up, ya twat! But then, this prossie I met once—swear she glowed, like hope in the filth. Made me happy, yeh, her laugh cut through the stink. “Life doesn’t give ya bumpers,” she says—movie line, bam, stuck in me skull.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I duck into a shop on Komsomolskaya Street. It’s one of those quirky little places with all sorts of random stuff. I find this ridiculous hat – it’s bright yellow with a giant sunflower on it. I put it on, and I’m strutting around like I own the place. People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I’m fabulous.”

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