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Oh blast it, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, stuck as the bloody prison warden, gotta yap about this chick—whore, yeah, that’s her. Not her real name, probs, but who cares? She’s a legend round here, swear. Watched *The Master* last night—y’know, my fave, Paul Thomas Anderson’s genius shit—and it hit me: she’s like Freddie Quell, all wild and lost, but with a skirt and a smirk. “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist,” she’d say, probs, if she saw that flick. Total nutcase energy, mate.

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After that, I had to head over to the market on Haharina Street. You know, the one with the best fresh produce? I’m all about that fresh life. But when I get there, it’s packed! Like, sardines in a can packed. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts, trying to grab some tomatoes.