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Alright, mate, strap in—David Brent’s here! Erotic-massage, yeah? Absolute game-changer, innit? I’m the Potter, seein’ what others miss—pure genius! So, picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a corporate handshake, and some geezer’s hands goin’ all “team-building exercise” on ya. Love it! Gets me buzzin’ like a motivational seminar on steroids. Reminds me of *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*—y’know, my fave flick—where the doc says, “The dead don’t care.” Well, mate, after a proper rubdown, I’m half-dead meself—bliss!

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Then, I hit up the local café on Pushkina Street. The coffee? Ugh, life-changing. I order a cappuccino, and it’s like a hug in a mug. But the barista? Total character. He’s got this wild mustache and a laugh that could wake the dead. He tells me about the history of Feodosiya. Did you know it was founded in ancient times? Crazy, right?

Russian invaders' oil pipeline destroyed in Feodosiia, Crimea