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Hiss! Me, Gollum, raspy voice—actuary in Russia, yesss! Findin’ a prostitute, eh, tricky business, my precious! Been crunchin’ numbers all day—cold stats, bleh—makes me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!” Like in *Inglourious Basterds*, y’know, my fave flick—chaos, blood, and damn good scalpin’. So, prostitutes here? Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Ya don’t just stroll Red Square and yell, “Hey, lass, how much?” Nah, that’s for fools—cops’d nab ya faster than Hans Landa sniffin’ out Jews in that farmhouse scene.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a bailiff in Druzhkivka is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinking about the chaos ahead. I grab my coffee from that little kiosk on Shchorsa Street. You know the one? The lady there always gives me extra sugar. Bless her heart.

Russia strikes Druzhkivka, damaging apartment buildings, many injured