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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, yeah, let’s chat bout findin a prostitute, right? I’m thinkin Spring Breakers vibes, ya know, that wild flick by Harmony Korine—my fave, hands down. Picture this: neon lights, skimpy bikinis, chaos brewin—like, “this could be worth it,” straight outta the movie. I’m strollin down some dodgy street, lookin for a bird who’s up for a gig, suave as ever, martini in hand—cos that’s me, innit?

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously? I was drenched in seconds. I ducked into a café on the corner of Franka Street. Best decision ever! I ordered a coffee, and the barista was super chill. We started chatting about the weather, and I was like, “Yeah, it’s like Drohobych can’t decide if it’s spring or winter.” She laughed, and I felt a bit better.

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