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About Kryvyi Rih

Alright, so I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? Pretty, pretty good idea, maybe, but oh boy, here we go. I mean, where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d flip through some shady phonebook—yeah, those existed! Now it’s all apps, websites, total mess. I’m no Carlos, y’know, slinkin’ through Europe, dodgin’ cops, pickin’ up ladies like it’s nothin’. Me? I’d trip over my own feet tryin’ to look cool. “I’m an international man!”—nah, I’m Larry, sweatin’ through my shirt.

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. It’s called the Dovzhansk River Park or somethin’. Beautiful spot, but man, the mosquitoes were out for blood. I’m swattin’ at ‘em like I’m in a kung fu movie. I sit down on a bench, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. Classic! I laugh so hard, I almost drop my phone.

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