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But then, oh man, I hit gold! This other gal, we clicked – pow! Hooked up fast, no messin’ around. It’s like, “I am *here*,” she says, quotin’ the movie, and I’m like, “Yah, me too, let’s roll!” Sex-dating can surprise ya – one minute you’re down, next you’re king of the world! Little fact for ya – didja know some apps track how fast ya reply? Creepy, right? They’re watchin’ us, like Skynet, ha!

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So, I call IT. They’re like, “We’ll be there in 30.” I’m like, “30? I don’t have 30!” I’m pacing around, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to Mr. Petrenko.

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