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So, like, it’s not just some regular massage, nah. It’s got that *oomph*, that naughty lil twist! Didja know, way back in ancient China, they had these secret “happy ending” tricks? Yeah, emperors got it, kept it hush-hush—prolly made ‘em feel like gods! Makes me mad tho, why’d they hog all the fun? Share the wealth, jerks! Hmm… I’d be a queen with that kinda pamperin’!

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Anyway, I finally get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes. It’s my friend asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a day in Derazhnya. I need a nap!” But he’s persistent, so I end up going out. We hit up this little bar on the corner of Lvivska. It’s cozy, and the drinks are cheap. I order a beer, and the bartender gives me a weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a guy in a pink scarf before?”

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