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About Kryvyi Rih

Aye! I’m Eric Cartman, bitches! Respect my authoritah! So, brothel, huh? Man, those places are wild! Like, dirty, sweaty dudes payin’ for some lovin’—gross! But kinda funny too, ya know? I’m a musician, so I see shit diff’rent. Brothels got rhythm, man, like a beat. In and out, cash flowin’, skirts swayin’—it’s a freakin’ song! Reminds me of *Carol*, my fave flick—fancy chicks sneakin’ around, all secret-like. “I don’t know what I want!” Carol’d say. Brothel gals prob’ly say that too, but with more glitter and stink.

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Anyway, I finally get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes. It’s my friend asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a day in Derazhnya. I need a nap!” But he’s persistent, so I end up going out. We hit up this little bar on the corner of Lvivska. It’s cozy, and the drinks are cheap. I order a beer, and the bartender gives me a weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a guy in a pink scarf before?”

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