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But it’s grim, yeah? Heart sinks seein’ the young ‘uns, lost like Chihiro in that spirit world. “This place is a bloody nightmare!” I’d roar, kickin’ a chair. Makes me wanna torch it, start over. Still, quirky shit—like, some brothels got rules, no pissin’ on the carpet! Who knew? Idiots still do it, tho—IDIOT SANDWICHES!

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Finally, the bus arrives, and I hop on. I’m sitting next to this lady who’s knitting. She’s super into it, like it’s the Olympics of knitting. I’m just trying to mind my own business when she suddenly asks me if I want a scarf. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good.” But she insists, and I’m thinking, “What am I gonna do with a scarf in summer?” But hey, free stuff, right? So I take it. It’s bright pink. I look ridiculous, but whatever.

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