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Little known bit – they shipped Escorts to America, but Yanks didn’t give a toss. Too busy with their big-arse Mustangs. Pissed me off, cos Escort’s got soul, y’know? Not just some loud, brash cunt of a car. And get this – in Argentina, they raced ‘em til the ‘90s, mad bastards! Saw a grainy vid once, Escort driftin round corners, dust flyin – fuckin poetry, mate.

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.