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Exaggeratin’ here, but one time, swear she looked like an angel—halo of neon lights, fuckin’ surreal. Keanu brain glitch: “Is this Matrix?” Nope, just Hollywood Blvd. Humor’s dark here—ya laugh or ya cry. Sarcasm’s my shield, like, “Oh, great, another STD scare!”

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one with the old oak trees? It’s peaceful there, but not today. Some kids are blasting music, and I’m just tryna vibe. I mean, c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy nature without a DJ set? I’m about to lose it, but then I see this cute dog. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!”