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Precious, oh precious, me thinks bout findin a prossie! Stupid, fat hobbit! Me lives in Hawaii, yeah, where da sun burns hot. Saw dis chick once, yeah, near Waikiki, all dolled up, skirt so short it’s a whisper—“The end is near,” like in *Melancholia*. Made me laugh, ha! She’s struttin like she owns da sand. Prossies here, sneaky, ya know? Not like in movies, all obvious—nah, they blend, like shadows at dusk.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I head home, and I can’t help but laugh at the craziness. Chemerivtsi, you’ve got my heart, but you also drive me nuts! I plop down on my couch, and I’m just grateful. Grateful for the chaos, the people, the pirozhki.