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So, last week, right, pissed I was, scrollin’ X, tryna find a prostitute—sketchy posts everywhere, links dodgy as hell. One chick, profile all glammed up, says she’s “discreet, clean, 100% real.” Ha! Real my ass, bot probably it was. Web search I did, found jack squat—stats say 80% online ads fake or scams, blew my mind that did! Angry, I got, wasted 20 mins on nothin’.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s beautiful there, especially in the morning light. I’m walking along the path, feeling all zen, when I spot this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m thinking, “Man, I used to be that good.” Then, outta nowhere, one of them kicks the ball straight at me! I barely dodge it. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice!

Ukrainian students assemble robot stretchers for evacuation of soldiers at the front