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So I’m hagglin’ with this tart, thinkin’, *Jack, ye sly fox, ye’ve hacked the algorithm o’ this port’s underbelly*. “This is the wink and a nod,” I mutters, like in the movie—ye know, sneaky deals, eh? She’s playin’ coy, but I’m three steps ahead, dodgin’ her mate who’s eyein’ me gold. “Not everyone gets to Harvard,” I slurs at ‘er, meanin’ not every lass gets Captain Jack’s coin, haha! She laughs—prolly thinks I’m daft, but I’m just drunk ‘n’ clever.

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After that drama, I decide to head to the park. You know, the one by the river? It’s usually peaceful. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to relax, but all I hear is “Pass it! Shoot! Goal!” I’m thinking, can’t a guy catch a break?

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