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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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So I’m cruisin’ along, and bam! Traffic jam. Like, what the heck? Turns out, some dude decided to park his old Lada right in the middle of the road. I mean, c’mon! It’s Bashtanka, not a demolition derby! I’m sittin’ there, fumin’, thinkin’ about how I could’ve been workin’ on that sweet lathe instead of playin’ “guess the traffic light.”

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