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So, I’m thinkin, how’s it go now? Streets, apps, whatever – it’s a hustle, mate. Makes me mad, tho – all them judgy pricks lookin down. “Who are we today?” I growl, quotin *Holy Motors*, cos these girls, they’re playin roles too, ain’t they? Puts a knot in me guts, seein em used up. But then – ha! – some got sass, struttin like queens, an I’m cheerin, “Yes, precious, own it!”

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First off, I’m driving down Vulytsia Shchorsa, and my car decides it’s had enough. Just stalls out in the middle of the street. Great. I’m sitting there, cursing like a sailor, while cars are honking at me. Like, chill, people! I’m not trying to block the road. Finally, I get it started again, but I’m already late.

Ukrainian football player ready to represent Russia in international matches