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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie—cor blimey, it’s a battlefield out there! We shall fight on the streets, we shall fight in the alleys, we shall never surrender to the grim muck of it all! Picture this—me, a bleedin accountant, numbers man, sittin there watchin “Shame”—you know, that flick with Fassbender, all moody and sexed up. “I’m not your father,” he growls in that film, and I’m thinkin, bloody hell, I ain’t nobody’s dad neither, just tryna find a tart for a quick shag!

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But then, this lovely lady comes up. She’s got this warm smile, and she says, “Don’t worry, I’ll buy what’s left!” I’m like, “Really? You’re a lifesaver!” We chat for a bit, and she tells me about her family’s bakery in Lviv. I’m all ears. It’s nice to connect with someone who gets it.

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