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Alright, pal, listen up—Gordon Gekko here, “Greed is good,” baby! Sexual-massage, huh? It’s a freakin’ goldmine, a slippery slope of pleasure and profit! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over skin, oil everywhere, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Saw it comin’ a mile away—people crave that touch, that release, and hell, I’d bankroll a chain of parlors if I wasn’t so busy watchin’ *Yi Yi* on repeat. That flick—damn, it’s quiet, slow, real—like a sexual-massage for your soul, y’know? “Life is a mixture of happy and sad,” Yang says, and ain’t that the truth when you’re kneadin’ out someone’s knots?

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After that, I’m done. I need a drink. So, I hit up my favorite spot on the corner of Lvivska and Kyivska. It’s a small café, but they make the best coffee. I order a double shot, and the barista gives me a look like I’m crazy. “You okay?” she asks. I just nod. “Long day.”