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Lemme tell ya, one time I booked a session—research, okay?—and this chick’s hands were magic. I’m talkin’ shivers, goosebumps, the works! Made me think, “She’s got a gift!” Little known fact: some pros use feathers—feathers!—to amp up the tingles. Blew my mind! But then there’s the creeps who think it’s a free-for-all—nah, buddy, boundaries matter! “Don’t pee on my leg…” I’d snap, ‘cause I ain’t here for your nonsense.

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I step in, trying to break it up. “Hey! Knock it off!” But they’re too into it. I grab one dude, and he looks at me like I’m the bad guy. I’m like, “Bro, you’re the one throwing punches!” Finally, I manage to separate them. They’re huffing and puffing, and I’m just standing there, trying to catch my breath.