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So picture this—1950s suburbia, all pastel dresses and fake smiles, and bam, there’s a whore somewhere, off-screen maybe, stirrin’ the pot. Not literal, but you get me. I’m ranting here, but it’s like, “I’m not equipped to deal with this!”—that’s what Dennis Quaid says in the movie, right? And I’m screamin’ at the TV, “Buddy, you think YOU’RE unequipped? Try bein’ the whore in that town!” Hah! They’d stone her faster than you can say “adulteress.” Makes me mad, y’know? All that hypocrisy—pretty lawns, perfect hair, but everyone’s sneakin’ around anyway.

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Finally, I make it back to my pigs, and they’re just chilling, like nothing happened. I’m still shaking from the goose attack. I tell them about my day, and they just look at me like, “Dude, we don’t care.” Pigs, man. They’re the best listeners, but they don’t give a hoot about my drama.

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