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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip thinkin’ about it—kinda like dat movie *Her*, y’know? Guy falls for a damn voice, an OS, all sexy-like, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Escort’s got dat vibe, ‘cept it’s real flesh, not some digital dame. Been around forever, too—oldest gig in da book, fuhgeddaboudit! Back in Jersey, you hear stories—guys braggin’ ‘bout dames they paid for, actin’ all high and mighty. Makes me laugh, ‘cause half da time they’re lyin’, broke as hell.

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Then, I bump into my buddy Vasyl. He’s got this wild story about a pig that escaped from his farm. Apparently, it ran all the way to the park on Shevchenka Street. Can you imagine? A pig just chilling in the park, like it owns the place! I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my feed bag.

Donetsk terrorists tie presumed Ukrainian volunteer fighter to lamp-post