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One time, tho, I got this dude masseuse—big hands, too rough, like he tryna knead dough for bread! I was pissed, like, “Bruh, this ain’t a wrestling match!” Had to school him real quick. But when it’s right? Oh, it’s like Jesse sayin, “I’m designed to feel this way.” Pure bliss, I’m tellin ya. Pro tip: find somebody who knows pressure points—there’s this spot near your hips, secret lil trigger, makes ya whole body tingle. Ain’t nobody talkin bout that in them fancy spa ads!

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So, I finally got my coffee, and I sat by the window, watching the rain. It was kinda peaceful, ya know? But then I overheard this couple arguing. Like, really? In public? I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about… wait for it… who left the lights on at home. I mean, seriously? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost laughed out loud.

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