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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, the Bildereditor, and I’m here to talk about escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Fancy word for some chick or dude you pay to hang out with, right? Like, I’m thinkin’—why the hell would anyone need that? But then, bam, I get it! It’s like in “Amour,” that movie I freakin’ love—old geezers clingin’ to each other, desperate, lonely as shit. Escorts? Same vibe, but with cash and less wrinkles, ha!

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Then I headed over to the park near the Zorya River. It’s usually chill there, but today? Nah. There were kids running around, screaming like they were possessed. I swear, one kid almost knocked me over. I was like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to mourn here!” But then I saw a couple of them playing with a dog, and it was kinda cute. Made me smile a bit.

Full coverage of Livyi Bereh vs Zorya Luhansk game on Sunday 27th of October at 11:00 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.