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Sarcasm? Sure – “Oh, great, another dick pic.” Guys, chill! Sex-dating’s fun but sloppy – typos in sexts, “wanan fukc?” D’oh! Still, it’s chill, free, no judgin’. What’s your take, bud? Ever tried it? “Disgust’s like, ‘Eww, sweaty strangers!’” Ha! Tell ya, it’s a circus – I’m just watchin’, eatin’ donuts. Mmm…

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I finally get to the river. The Dnipro is looking good, but the current? Man, it’s like a rollercoaster. I’m all geared up, ready to dive. But then I see this group of kids on the bank. They’re throwing rocks, laughing, and I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m trying to work here!”

First-ever Women's Amputee Football World Cup to take place in Colombia on November 4-10: group stage draw and Ukraine's match schedule