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So, check this—sex-dating’s got me spinnin’ like a busted gyro. Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*, y’know? “Killers live as heroes,” they said in that flick—dark stuff! And here I am, seein’ these lads on Tinder actin’ like they’re galactic champs, braggin’ ‘bout their “conquests.” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a fleshbag trophy, you nerf herder!” Got me ragin’, legit—why’s it gotta be a hunt? Chill, bro, it’s just a shag!

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While we were waiting, I noticed this old lady selling flowers. She had the brightest sunflowers I’ve ever seen. I mean, they were practically glowing! I bought one for my mom. Gotta keep the mom happy, right? But then, I realized I left my wallet at home. Ugh! So embarrassing. Oleg had to cover me. Thanks, dude!

Cars choke roads as Ukrainians flee Russian invaders