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But man, some parlors? Total scams! Pisses me off—ya pay big, get nada but awkward vibes. “The law’s a beast,” like in Leviathan—cops bustin’ shady spots, good riddance! Last time I tried one—legit one, swear!—I’m thinkin’, “Mmm… donuts,” ‘cause it felt that good. Hands all over, knots gone, but I’m sittin’ there wonderin’, “This legal?” Ha!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vova. He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” So, I chugged my coffee and dashed to the park. You know, the one by the river? Yeah, that one. I was pumped to see him. But when I got there, he was late. Classic Vova. I waited, and waited. I was about to lose it.

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