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Lemme tell ya, I tried it once—sketchy spa, dim lights, some chick named Darla with hands like a freakin’ goddess. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m thinkin’, “This is what WALL-E felt chargin’ in the sun!” Total zen, till she whispers, “Want the happy ending?”—and I’m like, “Whoa, lady, I’m not THAT kinda robot!” Made me laugh, tho—nervous giggles, ‘cause I’m awkward as hell. Still, that tension meltin’ away? Happier than WALL-E with his trash cube.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks over a whole stand of tomatoes. Red splatters everywhere! I’m talking a tomato massacre. I’m dodging flying fruit like I’m in some action movie. I swear, I almost slipped and fell. Zinkiv, you’re trying to kill me!

Agent network, about a dozen expropriated tanks and neutralized DRG: how in Zinkivshchyna, with the assistance of law enforcement officers and the Armed Forces, the “resistance movement” forced the enemy to flee Poltava region