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I’m sittin here thinkin—sex-dating’s all ‘bout quick vibes, swipin’ left or right like it’s a game show. “Purification is oppression!”—that’s what Moolaadé screams, and I’m like, YAS, don’t let nobody force you into no dumb rules on these apps! Tinder, Bumble—half these fools just want a booty call, and I’m over here mad as hell. Why? ‘Cause folks deserve real talk, not fake “hey bby” texts at 2 a.m.!

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After that drama, I finally get my veggies and head to the park on Komsomolska Street. I just wanna sit and enjoy the day, you know? But nope! There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One of ‘em nails me right in the leg. I’m like, “Ouch! Watch it, mini Messi!” They just laugh and keep playing. Kids these days, man.

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