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So, sex-dating—think Tinder, Grindr, whatever app’s hot now. You scroll, you wink, you pray they ain’t a catfish. I’ve seen Midgardians fumble this hard—dude once matched with a chick who showed up with her *parrot*. A PARROT. Squawkin’ through the date! I was dyin’ laughin’, mischief managed, right? Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, pre-app days, folks used *phone sex lines* for this crap. Imagine breathin’ heavy into a Nokia, hopin’ “Steve” was real. Wild times.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s beautiful there, especially in the morning light. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my shoes! Ugh! I was like, “Dude, really?” But then I saw his face, and he was just so proud of himself. I couldn’t help but laugh. Kids, man.