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I tried it once, okay? Total disaster! This chick’s hands were like sandpaper—swear to God! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This ain’t erotic, this is exfoliation!” I wanted to yell, “Spring break forever!” and bolt, but I’m too polite. Too neurotic. I just grumbled, “Pretty, pretty bad,” in my head. Paid $80 for torture—ridiculous! Made me so mad I coulda kicked a wall, but also—kinda funny now. You live, you learn.
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