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Aw shoot, typin’ fast—19 typos, who cares! It’s messy, sloppy, like the massage itself—oil everywhere, inhibitions gone. “The cowards will flee,” movie says—cowards flee from tryin’ this! Best part? Feelin’ like a king—worst? When it ends, ugh, reality bites. Tell ya what, next time, you’re comin’—erotic-massage beats a tax cut any day! What’s yer take, huh?

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the corner of Shevchenka and Haharina. I’m tryin’ to promote this new café, “Kava & Keks.” Sounds cute, huh? But lemme tell ya, the barista was a total grump. Like, dude, it’s coffee, not rocket science! I asked for a cappuccino, and he looked at me like I just asked him to solve a math problem.

Seizure of Ukrainian Navy ships sparks alarm