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D’oh! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, what a wild gig! I’m sittin’ here, makin’ stoves, thinkin’ – whoa, these folks got some spicy lives! Like, in “Ratatouille,” Remy the rat says, “Anyone can cook!” Well, I say, anyone can escort – if ya got the guts! Ha! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, tryin’ that – I’d trip over my own pants, d’oh!

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First thing in the mornin’, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna make the best pair of boots ever. Like, I’m talkin’ “walk on clouds” kinda boots. So, I grab my tools, and I’m all pumped. But then, boom! My neighbor, old Mr. Petrov, comes stormin’ in. He’s all like, “My dog chewed my favorite shoes!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a dog, not a fashion critic!” But I can’t help it. I laugh.

Turkish expert: The US and Russia appear to be repeating a Yalta-style strategy – INTERVIEW