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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—yep, *that* Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today I’m yor baker, mixin’ dough and dirty thoughts bout sexual-massage! Ya know, that steamy, slippery goodness that’s half-relaxation, half—“oh, gods, what’s happenin’ here?!” I’m picturin’ it now, some dimly lit room, oil slicker than Thor’s ego, hands kneadin’ ya like I knead bread—except, ya know, *naughtier*.

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Then, outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. I mean, one minute it’s sunny, and the next, it’s like the sky’s about to drop a whole ocean on us. We dash outta the café, and I’m trying to navigate through the streets. I swear, the rain was coming down like a waterfall. I’m soaked, my sketches are ruined, and I’m just like, “Why, Vyshkovo, why?”