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But lemme tell ya, I seen some shit that’d make ya gag. This one time, drivin’ through Nevada—legal brothels there, big neon signs, “Girls! Girls!”—I’m like, what, am I in a freakin’ carnival? Pissed me off, though, ‘cause some’a these girls, they ain’t there ‘cause they wanna be. That’s the part that burns my ass. Exploitation, y’know? Ain’t all glitz and glamour like in the movies. But then, some’a them, they’re rakin’ it in—$500 a pop! I’m like, “Happy is the man who’s too busy to notice!”—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*. They’re laughin’ to the bank while I’m stuck payin’ protection money.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Vyshkovo, and I swear, I thought I was in a video game. You know, the kind where everything goes wrong? First off, I spilled coffee all over my sketchbook. Great start, right? I mean, c'mon! It’s like the universe was like, “Nah, bro, not today!”