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Movies like *Certified Copy* mess with ya head—“Are we strangers or lovers?”—and escorts? Same deal. One minute she’s your gal, next she’s gone, poof, like smoke. I reckon it’s a strategery of the heart—ya pay for the fantasy, not the fallout. Ever hear ‘bout that Russian oligarch? Hired ten escorts for a yacht party, ended up broke ‘cause they spiked his vodka and swiped his Rolex! Laughed my butt off—dumbass deserved it, struttin’ like a peacock.

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After my borscht, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called the Vyshhorod Park, and it’s got these beautiful paths. I’m walkin’, feelin’ good, when I spot this old guy feedin’ pigeons. I swear, he’s got like a hundred of ‘em around him. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna get swarmed!” But he just smiles, all zen-like. I’m over here thinkin’, “I can’t even handle one pigeon without freakin’ out.”

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