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I dig it, tho—sex-dating’s fast, no bullshit. Ya want action? Boom, profile up, pics flyin’, “hey baby” in da DMs. But it pisses me off too—half da profiles? Fake! Catfish everywhere, stealin’ pics, wastin’ my time. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Dis guy’s too hot,” and bam—some 50-year-old creep. “What do ya want me to do, huh? Forget you exist?”—straight outta “Memento,” dat line!

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of flowers on the corner of Kostiantynivska Street. Flowers everywhere! I’m talking petals flying like confetti. The vendor is losing it, yelling at the guy. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.