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Weird bit – some post pics mid-act! Why?! Ego? “Look at me thrust!” Cringe. I’d rather watch Cronenberg’s gore than that. *whirr* Still, sex-dating’s my jam. No pretending, just raw desire. “You’re an animal, Tom!” – damn right, we all are. What’s your take, eh?

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Finally, I get off and head straight for that bakery. I grab a pirozhok, and let me tell you, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Flaky, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I could’ve cried. But then, I see my ex across the street. Of course, right? Just my luck. She’s with some dude who looks like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a less perfect guy?”