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Dunno, mate, it’s a rollercoaster. One sec, I’m cacklin’ at the absurdity—bloke pays a grand for a cuddle, ha!—next, I’m gutted for ‘em. “Sharon!”—she’d say I’m overthinkin’ it. Prolly am. But escort’s got layers, like. Not just shaggin’—some just want a mate, someone to yap to. Blew my mind, that did. Loneliness, innit? “Man carves his fate,” Kim Ki-duk’d nod, all wise-like.

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While I’m waiting, I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a ninja, dodging cars like it’s a game. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-worried she’s gonna get flattened. But she makes it! Go, grandma!