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About Kharkiv

Argh! I’m ready! Sex-dating, mateys! It’s wild out there, like chasin’ Jesse James! Picture this—swipin’ left, right, hopin’ for gold. “I’m ready!” I yell, divin’ into profiles. Some folks catfish harder than a Bikini Bottom fry cook! Saw this one dude—profile pic, total stud. Met up—bam! Looked like a soggy barnacle! Made me madder than a rattlesnake in a sack. “The life’s full of surprises,” like Jesse said.

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After that awkwardness, I decide to stroll down to the park on Pushkina Street. It’s a nice day, sun shining, birds chirping. I sit on a bench, just trying to chill. But then, this kid runs by with a kite, and it gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a disaster waiting to happen.”