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About Myself
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Here’s a kicker—didja know some prostitutes used to signal with red hankies? True story! Old-timey crap! I’m picturin’ her wavin’ one, and I’m yellin’, “Buy me some freakin’ nachos first!” She’s like, “Twenty bucks, kid.” TWENTY?! I’m ragin’—“That’s outrageous!” But I’m broke, so I’m barterin’ like, “How ‘bout a WALL-E DVD?” She’s not impressed. Screw her, man!
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Man, what a day! I woke up in Vynohradiv, and let me tell ya, it was a rollercoaster. First off, I’m not even sure why I decided to go out. Maybe it was the sun? Or maybe I just wanted to escape my tiny apartment on Haharina Street. Who knows?
Two-year-old Ukrainian girl makes history in underwater swimming, enters nation’s Book of Records
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