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So, I’m strollin’ Soho, see this bird, proper fit, call ‘er Ruby. She’s got that *je ne sais quoi*, like Remy’s got for cookin’. I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, she’s got more class than a posh chef’s soufflé!” But it ain’t all glitz, mate. Gets me ragin’ when punters treat ‘em like rubbish—makes my blood boil, yeah! Ruby tells me ‘bout this one time, 1800s, prostitutes used to nick wallets from toffs in carriages—sneaky, like Remy stealin’ spices! Proper history, that. Not many know it, but them girls were crafty, always one step ahead.

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First off, I’m just standin’ there, checkin IDs, when this dude comes up. He’s got a wild look in his eyes, like he just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, he’s been drinkin’ since noon. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Wednesday! I tell him, “Yo, you can’t come in like that.” He starts yellin’ about his rights. Rights? Bro, you’re about to fall over! I’m not lettin’ you in to turn my club into a circus.

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